Sweat me timbers

Sunday was International Tale Like a Pirate Day, so it seems fitting to mention Heyndrick Arents of Briel.

Unfortunately, he was not very bright.

Arents was caught in 1568 by Rotterdam soldiers who were raiding the boat of a known pirate. Arents had the bad luck of being hired to caulk the pirate’s boat just before the raid, so he he was hauled up with the other buccaneers and sentenced to be hanged with the lot.

So Arents has the bright idea to tell the judge that he can’t possibly be a pirate, because he’s an Anabaptist. Casting aside the faulty logic here, the best Arents could have hoped for was to have his execution upgraded from dangling to roasting. The judge was all too happy to oblige. However, Arents got a two-week stay on his death, so that he could be properly examined (tortured).

Still, he’s the only one I’ve seen in the Martyrs Mirror so far who have the distinction of being pirate-for-a-day.

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